Heidi Montag naked in Playboy; has 20-30 orgasms daily thanks to Spencer

Heidi Montag’s long-awaited Playboy pictorial is out today, and she’s on the cover of the September issue of the magazine. Although it was rumored she wouldn’t actually expose anything, she is definitely topless and fully nude, although shows nothing directly (there is, apparently, no picture of her vagina). Previewing the photos, Spencer told Access Hollywood they are “real, beautiful art,” while Heidi said they are “more art”–more, presumably, than just porn.

In one photo, for example, she’s topless and looking out the window, but there’s only a side view of her breast, and no nipple shot (like in another photo where she covers her breasts with her hands), because showing her nipples is what would end up humiliating Heidi Montag. She also shows her ass and breasts from the side while posed in bed.

Besides the photos, the magazine includes an interview with Heidi conducted by Spencer (could they not find a journalist willing to talk to someone this famous?), in which she reveals stuff that’s truly shocking and obscene, like how much Spencer satisfies her sexually. “You know, I was never very sexual before I met you, Spencer. I knew what sex was, but when I met you I entered into a whole new realm of understanding, from fantasy to love. Or to experience a day with 20 or 30 orgasms,” she says.

Spencer does actually ask good questions, though, such as, “If everybody thinks I’m the biggest douche bag on the planet, why would you marry me?” Heidi answers, “You have a lot of qualities the world can’t see, and I get to experience them.”

And 20 or 30 times a day, apparently.

The Hills are Alive [Playboy]
Heidi’s Playboy cover photo ‘real beautiful art’ [Access Hollywood]

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.