David Johnson sings to David Hasselhoff, “What must I do to proclaim my love to you?”

America’s Got Talent 4 debuted last night, and unlike the dreadfully boring and pretty incredibly awful The Superstars on ABC, offered lots of entertainment in its auditions, even if it does make me feel like an old person for complaining about how just obnoxiously loud it is (audience screaming/booing plus loud music plus judges plus Nick Cannon commentary).

While the show hasn’t yet found its Susan Boyle, there was a stand-out singer: 30-year-old credit union loan officer David Johnson was booed as he started performing an original song that he said “all kind of started with writing this song about someone that I had a crush on. It was a character on Baywatch.”

However, he quickly won over the audience–and Piers Morgan, who gave him an X almost immediately–when they actually gave him a few seconds, listened, and realized what he was doing. His lyrics about his crush on David Hasselhoff are just amazing:

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.