Lying Survivor Coach and Debbie lie about lying

Considering I wanted to do a happy dance in the 110+ degree Brazilian sun the first few minutes when Timbira voted for Sierra Reed, who I found to be very annoying for many, many reasons, I was sad to see the tribe essentially side with lying liars Coach and Debbie and vote her out.

While Sierra hasn’t contributed much to the game, although she wasvery prepared, she went out on a high note, exposing Coach and Debbie’s lies. Alas, it wasn’t enough to keep her in the game and send Debbie home. Coach couldn’t have gone because he won his first individual immunity challenge: a labyrinth maze game, clearly worthy of a warrior (“you better believe it, dragon slayer,” the idiot said after he won).

Earlier, after everyone else left for the reward or Exile, Debbie tried to get Sierra to align with them, the people who had just attempted to vote her out, and Coach pulled the loyalty card out of his ass. Sierra smartly rejected the proposition and quickly laid out the actual situation for Coach and Debbie, arguing they had no allies. Hearing the truth–and Sierra knew exactly what was going on, even if she wasn’t included in the blindside plans last week–basically caused Debbie to have an instant meltdown, and she cried, “You have no idea who we have!” Actually, Sierra was 100 percent correct.

Sierra told us, “someone’s playing their game right, and I think I’d rather go with the smart people,” which was almost as awesome as Coach calling Sierra stupid (“I can’t believe she’s that stupid”) despite the fact that Sierra was exactly right. Anyway, because JT is in control of the game and is marching toward victory, both Coach and Sierra went to him to tell him what happened, but only Sierra told the truth; Coach predictably lied to their faces, because a warrior–oh, who cares.

Later, Sierra confronted the pair about their lies in front of the group, and once again, Debbie started bawling (“I’m too old for this”), perhaps because she realized she hung her hat in the game on a hat rack made out of a douche.

Coach insisted, “I have not lied in this game, nor will I,” which was a lie among his many lies, and then lied, “We did not ask you for an alliance.” Does he actually not see the cameras or recall that they’ll offer proof of the lies that come out of his delusional mouth? At Tribal, Ben Wade even quoted the Bible (really?) and said bullshit like, “There’s two things that I am not, a coward and a liar,” and later said that “honesty and integrity, and courage” matter to him. Time to find a new hobby.

At Tribal, pretty much everyone voted for Sierra. Erinn’s vote was for Stephen, and said “Never again. Swear.” When that vote showed up randomly, it made no sense, and I guessed it had to do with her going to Exile, as in “never send me there again. But in the voting confessional video, Erinn promises to never vote for Stephen again and says “I couldn’t vote for Sierra.” I’m not quite sure why she didn’t vote for Debbie or someone other than Stephen, though.

Anyway, while the Jalapao alliance seemed to believe Sierra (“you exposed him,” Taj said, and Stephen and JT also suspected Coach was lying), she ultimately went home because, as Stephen said, “sending her home eliminates one big nutty variable.” In the voting confessional, he said she was “too erratic to keep around” and was a “wild card.” Now let’s just get rid of the joker who thinks he’s the king, okay?