America’s Next Top Model has launched a clothing and accessories line that is being sold only at Walmart. A press release says the line includes “fashion-forward clothing, bags, hats, fragrances and room dcor [sic] designed for juniors and young women” that “transcend the series, showing young women that you don’t have to be on the catwalk to look hot.”
Oh, and how hot you’ll look wearing the current top-seller: Juniors Plaid Flannel Roll-Cuff Pajama Pants. Aiming for the total bullshit press release quote of the century award, CBS consumer products executive Liz Kalodner says that the line “makes fashion accessible to young women. It enables women to explore a world in which creativity and individuality are valued.” Right, just like on Top Model where the girls blend together and are transformed into mini-Tyras.
Anyway, the clothes aren’t as disturbing–or as fierce–as one might expect. On the ho end of the spectrum are the Juniors Lacy Hipster Boy Shorts, and on the WTF? end of the spectrum is the Juniors University Scoop Tank. There are also track jackets, hoodies, t-shirts, and bags, some of which have the show’s logo and some of which do not.
Prices range from $3 to $15, which makes it a perfect fit for Walmart, which is now one word and has a hip new logo that seems to want to convince people that the store is cool like Target, at least until you get inside and realize it still looks like it did in 1995 and there’s shit in the aisles and the whole place is depressing, unlike Target whose glossy white interior makes me happy. But I digress.