Lance Bass, Brooke Burke, or Warren Sapp will win Dancing with the Stars 7 tonight

Dancing with the Stars 7 concludes tonight starting at 8 p.m. ET. One of the three quasi-celebrity finalists will win a shitty trophy and bragging rights.

Going into the finale, Brooke Burke has 58 points, while Lance Bass and Warren Sapp are tied for second with 53 points each. During the absurdly bloated finale, which will feature a return of this season’s best part, they’ll all dance one more time for judges’ points, i.e. the riggable part.

With Derek Hough’s help, Brooke Burke has become the most talented ballroom dancer; Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson are remarkably entertaining; and Lance does his own thing with the help of Lacey Schwimmer. I’d guess the Lance-Lacey team will win, with her So You Think You Can Dance fan base plus his ‘NSync and post-‘NSync fans providing a solid voting bloc. But Warren is also the kind of winner the show loves because he’s such an unlikely dancer, and he does disproportionately well; who expects a former football player to have better moves than a former boy band member?

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.