Jeffrey Ross out of Dancing with the Stars, which tries to restrain Cloris Leachman

The first celebrity to be eliminated from Dancing with the Stars 7 was comedian Jeffrey Ross, which was pretty much unsurprising, since he had the lowest score last night.

Meanwhile, Cloris Leachman, who’s pretty much the best reason ever to watch the show, received the evening’s lowest scores, and for good reason, because her dancing was pretty horrible. It actually looked like her partner Corky Ballas was manipulating a Cloris Leachman puppet, as he had to guide her.

But seriously, screw the dancing: She’s worth keeping on the show for her entertainment value, at least until she becomes too one-note. Immediately after we learned that she was safe and about to dance, she ran over to the judges while reaching into her bra. Later, we learned that was because she gave them each $10. “I’ve bribed the judges, so we don’t have to waste the time,” Cloris told Tom Bergeron after her dance. (Earlier, in an interview taped last night, she said, “I’m going to get better scores for the mambo or they’re going to be dead. I’m going to sock them right in the face.”)

Carrie Ann gave back the money to maintain her impartiality, and when Len joked that he was keeping it, Cloris said, “Do you want it all? I know they don’t give you very much money.” She was back up at the table, although she kept moving back and forth, as if she’d been told to not leave her mark. When Bruno gave his feedback, Cloris said, “Speak English, what?” And there was lots of conversation about her “coconuts” shaking; Len told her, “last night, I had a good look at your coconuts.”

Backstage, Corky Ballas kept his arms wrapped around her, as if to restrain her. When Carrie Ann revealed her score, Cloris said, “oh you bitch,” and later said, “I’m leaving; where’s my chauffeur?” Let’s hope she doesn’t actually leave too soon.

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.