In a season with no big twists and very little trippiness, last night’s Big Brother 10 episode ended with a sumo wrestler sitting in the living room on a box that apparently contains some kind of information the houseguests need for an upcoming luxury competition, which Julie Chen said will award “a trip outside the house with a twist that could change the game.” Apparently the houseguests have to get the guy off the box. Intriguing, perhaps, and probably necessary to help fill the dead air over the remaining four episodes.
Meanwhile, Renny, my favorite houseguest thanks to both her hysterical antics and intelligence, was evicted by Dan and Memphis. Next up, new HOH Dan will likely nominate and evict Jerry, unless he wises up and realizes that Memphis is marching toward a victory that I think April, of all people, predicted earlier in the season.
Speaking of Memphis, his family starred in last night’s waste-of-time segment, which included photographs of his younger, skinnier self. But it was insightful, if only because we learned that Memphis’ best friend Matt either shares his fashion sense or is borrowing his clothes, because he, too, wears the oversized v-neck t-shirts that show all kinds of man-cleavage. (So, for that matter, does Memphis’ girlfriend.) After commenting on Memphis’ stupid, overly-large v-neck t-shirts, I stumbled across Radar’s deconstruction of “the deep V” trend, which it calls the “douchebag neck.” A-men. I had no idea it was such a scourge on the country, although now I’m starting to notice them everywhere. Ugh.
Anyway, just when I started to get annoyed with the remaining houseguests and the stupid “renegades” (stop naming your alliances, dumbasses), along came footage from the jury house to remind me how pleasant the remaining contestants actually are. Michelle, for example, is as dumb and vain as ever. “Oh my god, I do look good on camera!” she said while they watched competition footage, and Libra looked ready to throw Michelle, April, and the TV in the pool.
And despite being evicted, April is convinced that she has an even more important role now on the jury. Best of all, April even had the gall to say, “I left the house with all my respect and dignity and pride.” Must we remind her that she encouraged a virtual stranger to ejaculate all over her on camera? Off camera, whatever, but in a public space in a house full of strangers and cameras broadcasting video and audio to a worldwide audience? If that’s dignity, then the box the sumo wrestler is sitting on is actually the jury house.