There have been some intense, crazy-ass, sometimes violent fights on Big Brother during its nine previous seasons, but I’m not quite sure any of them matches the one that aired last night in terms of sheer insanity and entertainment. And it was just a condensed version of what took hours to unfold Friday night.
The fight didn’t have much consequence, and it didn’t involve hateful things being said, and thus it was all the more entertaining, because there was no need to bathe in lit gasoline after the whole thing was over. The fight was primarily amusing because of the way it snowballed so fast. And while that word is somewhat cliché and overused, “snowballed” is exactly what happened: a tiny little thing started rolling and everyone it touched got sucked in. Ultimately, it seemed like almost everyone was mad at someone else for something different.
Here’s what happened: April was upset about the houseguests who were chosen for the veto competition, and while complaining about that to her alliance, including POV player Libra, Libra got upset and left. She started complaining to Keesha, and Jessie overheard from next door. He immediately told April and Ollie an exaggerated, not-quite-accurate version, and April marched downstairs to confront Keesha and Libra. She decided to focus on arguing with Libra, which pissed off birthday girl Keesha, who left and told Renny and Michelle. Keesha eventually went back and started complaining, essentially, that April wouldn’t fight with her, and April revealed that Jessie tattled in the first place, making Keesha and Libra mad at Jessie.
Then Jerry, the doddering fool, came into the bedroom and reported that Memphis and Dan were enjoying watching the women fight, and while Jerry did so, he told Libra to shut up. That pissed off Libra and Renny, who got mad at Jerry for being such an ass. She stormed off and told Memphis (“He better not put his finger in my face, or I’ll shove it down his throat”) what Jerry was saying about him, which left Memphis to go into the bedroom, although he left without confronting Jerry, at least not on TV. Then Libra confronted Jessie. Later, Michelle confronted people about what the fight was about, and Keesha started yelling at Jessie again.
All of this, and none of them appeared to be drunk. Even better, before Michelle reignited the fight, the houseguests immediately transitioned into Keesha’s birthday party, singing the most emotionless version of the song in television history and ending with dead silence. Happy suck-ass birthday, Keesha!