April leaves the Big Brother house but may still give us the show’s first-ever baby

Although she still has no idea why people dislike her–after all, she’s done “nothing, except do dishes and make cakes and give people stuff,” she told us–April was voted out of the Big Brother 10 house. She’ll take her delusion to the jury house, and it’s not a minute too soon.

On Tuesday, however, I was ready to hand her the $500,000, plus a bonus, just because she became the first person I’ve ever heard on the show use the words “personal” and “personally” correctly in the same sentence. “I think everybody says that they don’t want to take this game personally, or they’re not taking it personally, but you are,” she said. “I mean, this whole game is personal, you know. I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t hurt.” Wow, insight and proper grammar. I’m reconsidering already–bring her back into the house!

Even though April is out of the game, at least she might give us the first-ever Big Brother, as she still apparently hasn’t had her period, thanks to the unsafe sex she has practiced with Ollie. (Apparently neither Ollie’s minister father nor April’s twin sister have seen it, judging by their woefully comments last night, which were thoroughly naive and ignorant about their relatives’ actual behavior in the house.)

Outside the house, in front of the zombie studio audience, Julie Chen called April and Ollie’s relationship a “heartfelt romance,” although since Julie watches the live feeds, you know she had to be eager to abandon her cue cards and ask about how romantic their relationship truly is.

Despite discussions about marriage and moving in together, April deflected Julie Chen’s questions about her relationship with Ollie, calling it a “friendship,” although when Ollie asked “will you be my first girlfriend?” in his goodbye message, April said her answer was yes. Ollie, by the way, wins the line of the season, when in that same goodbye message he told April, “I never ever ever expected to find what I found in you.”

Although the strategizing and game play hasn’t exactly been at a high level these past few weeks, the show remains entertaining. Watching Jerry grovel was almost as amusing as trying to figure out why he, like so many older men, wears his baseball cap on the very top of his head.

And last night’s HOH challenge (here’s the result) was hysterical. While it started like every other boring-ass endurance challenge–with rain! the horror!–it quickly escalated as the ropes the houseguests were hanging on to flew up in the air, and then moved rapidly down until they all collectively hit a (padded) wall. The only bad part about it was that it was this group–not, say, the cast from last summer–that got slammed into a wall repeatedly.