DeAnna rejects a bachelor’s proposal but accepts the other man’s

Over seven months after DeAnna Pappas was rejected by Brad Womack, she got to break a heart of her own, rejecting one marriage proposal but accepting another one on the finale of The Bachelorette 4.

Instead of father and former golf pro Jason Mesnik, DeAnna chose snowboarder Jesse Csincsak and got engaged to him. “DeAnna Marie Pappas, will you spend forever with me?” Jesse asked her, and she said yes, and later adding, “I cannot believe I’m going to marry the guy with the pink shoelaces.”

Jason showed up first and immediately got down on one knee, and before it was able to touch the ground, DeAnna said, “No. I can’t.” She told him, “You have no idea how much I care about you. You’re this amazing, perfect person I’ve never had in my life before… And even though I’m falling in love with you, I’m in love with someone else.” He took his limo ride of shame clutching the ring box and staring into space. “Why me?” he asked. “I was so ready to be in love again.” Then he rambled on and I went back to folding laundry.

Earlier, DeAnna explained that she chose the man who “gets me. He’s someone that makes me want to be a better person.” She later called him her “soulmate” and said, “I found the man of my dreams.” Based on the preview of After the Final Rose–all I could bear to watch, especially once insufferable host Chris Harrison said something about having to hose them down–they’re still together. For now.

The weirdest part for me, having tuned in only for the last episode, was that suddenly the men were in control, except for a brief throwaway moment when she offered Jesse the final rose. The men went shopping for rings, decided it was up to them to propose to her, and basically gave her speeches at the end, as if they were suddenly the bachelor–even though the whole point of the show is that it’s her decision. Why couldn’t she propose? Would that really be such a shock that it’d destroy the fairy tale fantasy that many audience members seem to embrace? Maybe it was an attempt at reversing the emasculation that comes from the women-choosing-men thing?

Whatever it was, the editors left out the part where DeAnna’s father hands her over along with two goats and $150.

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about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.