In its promos for tonight’s penultimate episode of Survivor Micronesia, the announcer says, “We guarantee the most shocking Tribal Council ever.” After last week’s shocking Tribal Council and the ones before that, that’s a pretty bold statement. What could possibly happen that’d be more shocking than what we’ve seen these past few weeks? I started thinking about it, and came up with these possibilities:
- Naive and innocent Erik tries to play his newly discovered morning wood as the immunity idol.
- Jeff Probst points to one of the final five and says, “You’re fired.”
- James takes his IV tube, wraps it around Parvati’s neck, and screams, “I warned you not to bite into the forbidden fruit, daughter of Eve!”
- Once voting is finished, Probst says, “I’ll go sully the votes. I’ll be back in five minutes, maybe three.”
- Ozzy confuses the two reality shows he’s been on, raises his hand, and asks, “Can we hurry up? Because this isn’t going to take care of itself.”
- Natalie’s head spins around and pea soup erupts from her mouth.
- Jeff Probst says, “The tribe has spoken,” and in a misguided attempt at a sweeps stunt, TV’s own David Caruso shows up in character as CSI Miami chief Horatio Caine, stands sideways, stares into space, takes off his sunglasses, and says, “The evidence hasn’t spoken, Jeff, and without it, Jeff, this tribe has no voice, no voice at all.” Yeaaaaaah!