The Bachelor may not result in lasting relationships, but at least it delivers entertainment. That’s not to say that the show doesn’t keep up its pretense that it’s really about romance, even though it’s not. In case there’s a single gullible person left watching the show who actually believes Chris Harrison’s outrageous superlative teaser lies, he kept teasing the final episode during last night’s episode, and he promised a proposal and “the most romantic season finale ever.”
But before that day can arrive, British bachelor Matt has to meet everyone’s parents, which is what he did last night. Most of the episode was familiar and uninteresting, at least until Amanda R.’s mother started fondling Matt’s nipple.
Earlier, Matt told Amanda, “I want your parents to like me,” and she said, “I want you to like them, too.” But Amanda confessed to us, “I decided to play a little prank on Matt, so I hired actors that are going to play my mom and dad, and they’re going to be completely over the top. I decided to play this prank on Matt because he loves pranks and I just want to see how Matt reacts to it.” (By the way, does anyone actually believe she hired the actors, or that this wasn’t originally some producer’s idea? Please.)
Because Matt is the most blunt bachelor the show has had–he basically says what he’s thinking and doesn’t screw around–he handled the fake parents by trying but then being blunt when they crossed various lines. “Do me a favor, go like this?” Amanda’s fake mom asked, flexing her arm. “I will not do that,” Matt said. When the fake dad asked, “Have you been physically intimate?” Matt simply started chugging his beer.
As if those uncomfortable moments weren’t enough to wreck Amanda’s chances with Matt, she told us, “I had arranged in the plane for fake mom to hit on him in the whole Mrs. Robinson, cougar kind of way.” In the back yard, we saw the actress running her finger in circles around his chest, and Matt said, “You’re touching my nipple,” and when she stopped, he said simply, “Thanks.” Then she essentially mounted him and said, “You’re a good boy, aren’t you?”
Amanda, watching from inside, told us, “At that moment, I was like, oh my gosh, this is kind of going a little longer than I ever imagined it going. I really started to feel bad for Matt.” Really? Only right then? Not during the many awkward moments that preceded that?
She confessed, and perhaps the most shocking moment of all was that Matt was completely thrilled by all of this, and seemed to fall even more in love with Amanda because she screwed with him. “I’m just very impressed that Amanda had pulled it off. She was brilliant; she impressed me so much. That was very very funny, even though it was at my expense,” he said. Later, he said, “it’s the best prank I’ve ever had done on me.” Well, except the one where someone said going on a TV show would lead to everlasting love.