Finalists fumble Beatles songs, offer suggestive comments instead

With the American Idol 7 top 11 fumbling their second chance at Lennon/McCartney songs–“I’m not sure it was such a good idea doing Beatles again, because we had such a great memory from last week, and this is all getting a bit strange,” Simon Cowell said–they instead reverted to scandalous behavior and language that’s even more entertaining when taken completely out of context.

“I can blow you out of your socks and you know it,” Kristy Lee Cook told Simon. Moral compass Randy Jackson freaked out, saying, “whoa, whoa, Ryan please!” But the host was too busy getting turned on by the thought, and just said, “It’s hot, turn on the air.”

Ryan had his fun with the male contestants, too; after David Cook performed, he said, “Here, let me grab you.” David insisted that he could take care of himself, saying, “I’m good, I got it.”

“This is very embarrassing,” Simon said at one point.

In his video package, Chikezie recalled his most memorable moment. “Basically the same thing I did last week, except Ryan Seacrest was there touching my face.” The producers showed us a clip of Ryan touching Chikezie and saying, “soaking wet, my man, soaking wet!”

Most shocking of all, golden child David Archuleta talked about his performance last week, during which he forgot the words to his song. Apparently hell-bent on dispelling his image as a good kid, he leveled with us and revealed what really went through his mind–and the Fox censors even let it slip by without a bleep. David confessed, “The first thing I thought was, dangit!” Holy fucking shit, David, you’re out of control.

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.