Evan, Monica win American Gladiators and become new gladiators

Evan Dollard and Monica Carlson won American Gladiators, each receiving $100,000, an SUV, and a position as a gladiator for the upcoming second season of the show.

Evan, who has superhuman speed on so many events, but particularly the wall, started the Eliminator with a 9.5 second head start, and Alex Rai never had a chance. Evan beat his own 1:23.0 record on the Eliminator, finishing it in 1:19.0. “I’ve never felt more alive,” he said.

The women’s Eliminator was much more competitive, as Shanay Norvell caught up to soccer mom Monica on the net despite Monica’s head start, but pulled ahead and beat Shanay.

“You get to join these gladiators as American Gladiators next season,” Laila Ali said in her last (thankfully) terribly delivered, poorly scripted line of the season. And hopefully that’s not true, and the show will drop its lamer gladiators (hello, Militia) and replace them with ones cloned from Wolf.