Bobby Banhart says he “didn’t see [himself] in any of the plans [Tila] had”

A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila star Bobby Banhart, whose break-up with Tila has made room for a second season of the series, explained in an interview with reality blurred that their relationship ended because of Tila’s schedule and travel plans.

Tila revealed on MTV’s New Year’s Eve show that Bobby broke up with her. Yesterday, he told me that “things just didn’t work out” because “she’s busy; I’m doing my own thing. … Did I break up with her? Not really. She was just too busy. … I’m the type of person who wants to be able to talk to them and see them.” He did confirm that they had a significant pre-New Year’s conversation. “I talked to her two days before New Year’s, and we talked on the phone a little bit. I just didn’t see myself in any of the plans she had,” he said. “I don’t want to have to chase someone to spend time with them.”

But in a MySpace posting before New Year’s Eve, Bobby wrote, “She never called me after the last show and no one would give me her number so pretty much I feel like and ass but we are not 2gather. U cant have a relationship bye urself ya know.” I asked him about the discrepancy, and he said, “I took the blog the down for other reasons, for contract reasons I can’t even comment on. The things I say and the things I wrote were pretty much for a reason, and that’s all I can say as far as that goes.”

He says that, while they “really didn’t talk that much,” he did talk to her three or four times after the show concluded its six-week taping in mid-September. Because the outcome of the show would be spoiled, “we couldn’t see each in other in person,” he said, and that “was just hard,” especially with her travel schedule promoting the series.

Still, he says he had genuine, if unexpected, feelings for her. “I didn’t try to fall in love, it just happened,” he said. “I didn’t go into that anticipating that, but when you open up to somebody it kind of surprises you. … I loved her as a person and I thought she was great. It’s inevitably that you’re going to love someone if you spend 24/7 with them.”

As to rumors that Tila isn’t bisexual, Bobby says “I honestly thought she was attracted more to girls than to guys. If she isn’t bisexual, I’ll tell you what, she acted really good, because she fooled me.” He says she was genuinely nice to everyone on set, and “tried to spend as much time as she could with everybody.” He added that “behind camera, she’s a real cool person.” And the rest of the show was genuine, too, much to his surprise. “As far as everything you saw, everything was real, and that’s what surprised me, because nothing was planned,” he said.

Banhart, who has just been cast in the lead role in an independent romantic comedy called “Within the Heart” written and directed by Gina Luciano, doesn’t rule out another reality series, and says his experience was extremely positive. “I don’t regret anything. … I had a fun with it. I met a bunch of great people; the production was incredible. A bunch of incredible people. When you “can’t say anything bad about anyone, you know that it was a nice, well-spent two months.” However, he added, “my liver’s probably not doing too well after [those] two months.”

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about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.