Sanjaya Malakar drops out of American Idol for “personal reasons”

This satirical story is part of the April 1, 2007, edition of reality blurred.

Sanjaya Malakar, having made it to the top nine on American Idol 6, has dropped out of the show. He said in a statement that he was leaving for “personal reasons” unrelated to the competition.

An insider, however, said Sanjaya’s departure came after he read interviews with Chris Sligh, in which Sligh said he almost quit. A friend close to Sanjaya said, “He wanted to at least be able to do one thing better than everyone else.”

Sanjaya’s departure won’t be addressed on Tuesday’s show; instead, he’ll be replaced by a new contestant, Antonella Barba. “The American public has such a short attention span that it’s easy to just replace Sanjaya and pretend Antonella has been there all along; as long as we talk about her presence with conviction, no one will realize that we just changed contestants, especially not the media,” a source said.

Other contestants had grown increasingly jealous about the press Sanjaya is receiving. “Why does he get all the attention?” one contestant said on condition of anonymity. “Our personalities are dynamic; just look how we smile every week while standing next to Ryan Seacrest. Plus, our karaoke experience is much more extensive.”

Other reports from the set said Sanjaya wanted to perform John Cage’s song 4′ 33″ this week, but producers said no because it’s Washed-Up Singer with an Album to Promote Week. The song he selected, which consists of four minutes and 33 seconds of silence, was designed to please pro-Sanjaya fanjayas and anti-Sanjaya fanjayas, in addition to the judges and audio engineers on the show.

Survivor San Juan Del Sur's dark cloud is lifted

John Rocker

In its third episode, Survivor San Juan Del Sur improved significantly as John Rocker faced off against an Amazing Race villain. But the Exile Island reward challenge remains a drag on the series.


Why Dick Donato left Big Brother 13

Dick Donato

The Big Brother villain known as "Evel Dick" has finally revealed why he left the show during its 13th season: he learned he was HIV positive.

Also: Dick claims he had no choice but to leave the game.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.