All-star teams make amateur mistakes on The Amazing Race

Last night’s episode of The Amazing Race 11 was mostly a series of amazing mistakes: Joe and Bill missed half of a clue; Dustin and Kandice missed an entire clue box; David and Mary drove too far because they missed a sign; Mirna forgot the car keys. Yet despite all of that screwing up, the order in which they ended up at the pit stop offered few surprises, tragically enough. Here’s a review of what teams said as they screwed up along the way:

  • Rob opened the episode by telling us that he’s “not really too concerned about what everybody else is doing … I could care less.” I assumed that he erred with his phrasing (“could care less” instead of “couldn’t care less”), but I think he was actually admitting that he does care. If not, he proved himself to be a remarkable hypocrite. Among other things he said later: “Should I slow down and let these guys go by and see if they get lost?” and “We decided to work with Eric and Danielle.”
  • Danielle told us, “I think Eric definitely forgets that this race is about me as much as it is about him.” Considering that he dumped his last partner to race with her, why is she at all surprised?
  • Mary mourned the loss of her camaraderie with “Charla and Mirna, they were my friends. But, last leg of the race, they were going try to pass me? The race is on now.” Two seasons of racing and just now she’s realized this is not just the world’s most complicated dinner party.
  • “Security, please!” Ian said after Mirna obnoxiously demanded the attention of a ticket agent who was working with Terri. Mirna, your team’s rudeness is much cuter when Charla peers around the counter.
  • “Rob is not Jesus,” Joe said. Let’s hope not, because if he dies someday and then resurrects himself, I’ll be fucking pissed off.
  • Trying to wrangle large fish at the Roadblock, Joe called himself “the fish whisperer,” calming them with his hands. Eric suggested his teammate Danielle use a different asset: “Just pick ’em up and put your boobs on it. … Use your boobs, use your boobs.”
  • “What was that?” David asked about a sign pointing them in the right direction. “Just go!” Mary shrilly screamed from the back. At that moment, I finally saw what the David and Mary haters have apparently seen for a while: Mary can really be an awful partner sometimes. Once again, the all-star race is ruining my perception of my favorite teams.
  • Having missed a clue box but found one of the two Detour tasks anyway, Dustin or Kandice said, “So, we didn’t have to do a Detour,” right after having just completed the Detour task. They tried to check in but Phil sent them back for their missed clue. The mistake didn’t affect their standing, as they were able to recover their missing clue before another team checked in.
  • As hard as it is to believe, I didn’t really get mad when Rob and Amber checked in first and did a little dance, which I think means this race has a problem: The conclusions are getting boringly repetitive.
  • “Whoa!” That’s apparently what someone says when they fall off a raft into rapids. Incredibly, Terri managed to grab onto a rope and cling to the side of the raft. Although her husband seemed terrified, she told us, “It was exciting to fall out of the boat,” perhaps because she was out of Ian’s company for a few moments.
  • At the Detour, Mary said of the rafting task, “you can fall in, and to me, that’s die.” And at that moment, a maniacal, crazy smile spread across David’s face, and stayed there even as Mary turned and looked at him.
  • After checking in last and being eliminated, Mary made me love her once again, saying, “It was just awesome to be able do it once, let alone twice. I mean, wow. I’m a true West Virginian now; I got to whitewater raft,” she said, tears in her eyes. As the episode closed, she turned to David and said, genuinely, “I love you.” That moment was touching, but not as much as it will be when Rob and Amber are eliminated, and Amber turns to Rob and says, “I hate you.”