Kaysar voted out on his birthday, admits he’s “just not cut out for this game”

Kaysar, once the most revered player in the history of Big Brother, was voted out of the game yesterday, his 26th birthday. Unless I’m forgetting someone, Kaysar has now been evicted from the house more than any one else in the history of the game, having also been eliminated twice last season.

As he left, Kaysar admitted to Julie Chen, “I’m just not cut out for this game.” He said that after learning from Julie that James was in a secret alliance with Danielle, Boogie, and Will. (Apparently, there won’t be any possibility of him or others returning to the game, as Julie explained everything to him, from the existence of the alliance to James’ hateful comments about Janelle.)

Kaysar exited with dignity, and has my respect. Not as a game player–because he’s right, he completely sucks at this game–but as a human being. He’s a smart guy who shook things up last season in the best episode ever, but he was playing a game that he just didn’t have the skills for, including the ability to be duplicitous and evil. Kaysar, best of luck in your life as a former reality star.

Meanwhile, Erika became the new head of household, although the game wasn’t exactly fair. Each houseguest had to answer a true or false question; if no one got it wrong, the last person to answer correctly would be eliminated. On the question Janelle answered the slowest, neither of Mike Boogie’s lights were illuminated. Julie Chen ignored this, but then, on the very next round, Howie answered but his light didn’t illuminate, and Julie asked him for an answer. He answered again, insisting that he’d already buzzed in, and then was eliminated for being the slowest.

Ultimately, Boogie was eliminated on a different question, but the failure of the buzzer system in those two rounds could potentially have affected the other rounds. (Update: Producers held a new HOH competition.) More significantly, I’d love to know what Julie Chen is looking at besides the actual game during these HOH competitions, because it sure as hell isn’t at whatever we’re looking at. Her coffee mug, perhaps?

Finally, Julie Chen revealed to us the details of the coup d’etat twist, and the producers have managed to both fuck this up and make everyone with a functioning frontal lobe suspect that they’ll be rigging this new competition. That’s because only the person who wins the coup d’etat–by correctly guessing a phrase from a series of clues–will know what the power is. They’ll have to decide live during the eviction episode whether or not to nominate two brand-new people for eviction. In other words, the entire game is now irrelevant, from the HOH to the power of veto.

The first clue was a sheep that was in the living room, and that started to freak out once the houseguests came in. Since a female sheep is known as a “ewe,” I’m guessing the phrase starts with “You,” and is one of Julie’s stock lines, such as “You have been eliminated from the Big Brother house” or “You are the new head of household.” Or, “You are right, I don’t pay attention as I host.”

Ultimately, this whole twist is stupid, because without knowledge of the twist, the houseguests can’t really play the game fairly. How can you play a game when you don’t know the rules? It’s great to introduce something completely new to the game, but depriving everyone of knowledge of it prevents them from being able to play effectively. It’s like playing chess with someone who’s never played before and just telling them, “Oh, I’ll let you know if you win. In the meantime, just move your pieces around while I get drunk and think up some more ways to alienate our already disaffected audience.”