CBS reveals Big Brother 7 contenders

In a pre-taped special last night, Julie Chen revealed the candidates for Big Brother 7. The list matches the accidentally leaked list, although it’s now clear that the second list posted was probably a decoy.

TVgasm and reality blurred have teamed up to endorse six of the following 12 candidates, but here are all of the contenders, and why they said they wanted to return:

Big Brother 1

  • “Chicken” George: George wants to “strategize” this time, which perhaps will again involve dressing in a chicken suit.

Big Brother 2

  • Bunky: He promised us a “new and improved Bunky,” who’s hopefully been introduced to hair removal.
  • Will Kirby: The second season winner wants back in “because I have a big ego.” At least he’s honest
  • Mike “Boogie”: Is still a dumbass, as he actually compared his “Chill Town” alliance to the “Brat Pack.”
  • Monica: “If you cross the line, it will continue to be on,” she promised. Cosine!

Big Brother 3

  • Marcellas: “This is a chance to go back and maybe correct an error,” he said, referring to his colossal fuck-up of giving up the Golden Veto.
  • Lisa: Lisa admitted she just coasted through her season, which she won, and wants to be back in because, “this time, it’s time for me to play the game.” Um, you already did play the game. And won.
  • Danielle: “One word: redemption.” Three words: Who are you?

Big Brother 4

  • Erika: “I actually played a perfect game,” she said, but she lost. So not quite perfect, eh, idiot?
  • Dana: She said, “I switched sides, that’s the only mistake I made,” and now wants the chance to play perfectly.
  • Alison: She promised to be “back with a vengeance,” which maybe means calling fellow contestants names such as “Cuban faggot,” which she did last time she was in the house. Stay home, racist idiot.

Big Brother 5

  • Jase: “Jase will be back,” he promised, not even trying to campaign. He’s such a nutcase that we’ll definitely let him back.
  • Michael/Cowboy: The biggest moron to ever play the game, and his reason for coming back made no sense, and he voted out his half-sister.
  • Nakomis: Cowboy’s half-sister promised to “bring a lot more game.”
  • Diane: “I got wrapped up in some stupid boy,” she said, referring to Drew. “I regret it every day of my life. … we all know I would have won.”

Big Brother 6

  • Howie: He still calls April “Busto.” Awesome. He said “Big Brother without Howie is like a day without sunshine,” and wants to “find a new ‘Busto.'”
  • Kaysar: He admits his “gross miscalculation” in giving HOH to Jennifer. “evicted way too early, and it’s not going to happen again.” Yes, for the third time.
  • Ivette: As if the Friendship wasn’t partly her idea, she’s now distancing herself from her former friends, saying, “don’t relate them [the Nerd Herd] to me, let me play as an individual.”
  • James: Promises “the same tenacity,” but without the baggage of his girlfriend.
  • Janelle: Five words: “Give me that key, bitch!”
Big Brother 7 [CBS]