7-Eleven selling Apprentice-featured P’EatZZa Sandwich(TM) for $3.69

7-Eleven issued a press release yesterday to announce that it had officially begun selling the product it placed on last week’s (second) episode of The Apprentice 5. The week-later timing seems odd, although since NBC preempte the show this week, it’s probably the network’s fault, not 7-Eleven’s, which likely scheduled the product to be released after teh show was originally scheduled to air.

The product is the P’EatZZa Sandwich(TM), which has an insanely ridiculous name even without the paranoid “(TM)” trademark notation that 7-Eleven insists upon using even in the headline, as if someone is going to try to steal that crappy name for their own pizza sandwich.

The most interesting part about the press release is the suggested retail price: 7-Eleven is selling the sandwich for $3.69, which is just slightly below Synergy’s $4 price. It’s significantly less, of course, than the moronic $7.99 Gold Rush charged.

The other funny part about the press release is that it seems to need to justify the P’EatZZa Sandich(TM)’s existence, kind of as if its executives were in the boardroom trying to tell Donald Trump why they decided to merge two foods that have done perfectly well on their own. For example, 7-Eleven’s Kathy Hasty says, “While most people order their pizza hot, cold pizza has its own following, particularly among teens and young adults. … We started talking about how pizza could make the jump from slice to sandwich. We wanted to marry the best from both.”

And, of course, give it an absurd, impossible-to-spell name.

Greatest Thing Since Sliced Pizza; 7-Eleven(R) Introduces P’EatZZa Sandwich(TM) Featured on NBC’s ‘Apprentice’ [PRNewswire]

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.