Paula Abdul says she isn’t mean to contestants because “I have a vagina”

Day two of Paula Abdul’s weird explanations about her behavior on American Idol brings a bizarre confession: Paula’s vagina apparently has a lot of influence on the judging panel.

First, Paula explains that Randy and Simon are there to rip the contestants apart, so she doesn’t have to. MSNBC’s Jeannette Walls tells us about a conversation Paula had with Rolling Stone, in which she said, “It’s not my role. Why should I, when the guys to the right and left of me [Simon Cowell] will crush them?”

But that alone does not keep her from criticizing the contestants. Her genitalia also lends a hand. “And that’s on top of the fact that I have a vagina,” she tells Rolling Stone, and then confesses that that may not always be the case. “Though I do check between my legs to see if something else is sprouting down there,” she said.

Then, she said of Simon Cowell, “He bite me in my vagina. When I’m walking and he sees other dog, he right away, he jump on my vagina, because he get so crazy!” Oh, wait, wrong show; that was the woman from Showdog Moms and Dads.

Notes from all over [MSNBC]