What good are the biographies that CBS and other networks post online of their cast weeks or months before the shows debut? Can we really get to know the cast enough to pick favorites and identify villains before the show ever airs? Or are the bios just there to facilitate guesswork about who’s gay and who’s not?
The Malcontent’s Matt engages in such guesswork with the cast of Survivor Panama, analyzing why each male “might be gay.” Why even try to guess? As he admirably admits while discussing cast member Nick, it’s “Because we really, really want him to be” gay.
Perhaps most surprisingly, his analysis finds two men who cite “lavender” in their favorites: one as their favorite scent (Aras), and one as their favorite flower (Shane). The most likely candidate, though, is Austin, who is a “pretty boy” and a “model and actor, and “is currently ‘single’ and has a beauty-pageant sister.”
But nothing beats the analysis of Terry, who gets a two-word analysis about why he might not be straight: “That shirt.”