Martha’s Apprentice really heated up last night. Here’s a completely unedited transcript from a moment that came a little more than halfway through the episode:
Martha: “Can I have a piece of your sugar bun please, Marcella?”
Marcella (in an interview): “Martha asked me for a piece of my sugar bun. This is unbelievable. It’s such an intimate experience to be sharing with her. I need to pinch myself right now. I can’t believe this happening.”
Martha, after grabbing Marcella’s sugar bun: “Aren’t those sugar buns delicious?”
Although this dialogue would fit seamlessly into bad soft-core porn, the visual context tamed it; Martha wasn’t recreating her time at Alderson, but having breakfast with a team. And she literally just wanted a piece of Marcella’s half-eaten sugar bun, which even minus the funny dialouge was odd enough. She’s Martha Stewart. Does she really have to grab and rip off a piece of an underling’s sugar bun? Apparently so.
Also last night, Martha fired two candidates from Primarius. After Donald Trump’s boardroom bloodbath last week, though, firing two seems insignificant by comparison.
But Martha livened things up with more double entendre as she wrote her signature good-bye letter. To Sarah, she wrote, in part, “You’re young, appealing, attractive, and smart.” Instead of continuing on and complimenting Sarah’s sugar bun, Martha brought it back to business and kept things clean.
Still, both examples show how NBC can improve the ratings for The Apprentice: Martha Stewart: Less stunt firing, more accidental homoerotic prison humor, and especially more sugar buns.