Teams keep us amused on The Amazing Race 8

On another episode of The Amazing Race 8, the challenges were weak; at the Detour, they had to either saw wood or play Blackjack. Ooh. (One challenge featured an interesting multi-person circular bike called a Party Bike, which would have been cooler if it hadn’t just been product placement.) I may be mostly bored with this season’s challenges and route, but the families make watching the show totally worthwhile.

From last night’s episode, here are some great lines:

  • “Somebody pray,” mom Weaver said, making sure that the lord was ready to contribute his resources to the race.

  • The Schroeder family dissed the Weavers, who the son called “the white trash family.” Her stepmom said, “At first we were like, ‘We feet so bad–they lost their dad.’ And then we found out they were evil.”
  • Carissa Gaghan, now the youngest person on the race, said, “Other teams underestimate us because of our size, but I’m smart, I’m funny, and I can keep the team going for a long time.”
  • Brian Paolo revealed the reason by the race’s biggest conflict: “DJ and my mom fight so much because they are the same exact person.”
  • Five seconds later, his mother punished him for it, by hitting him with a clue. “You just gave me a paper cut!” Brian shrieked. And “shrieked” doesn’t begin to describe what it looked like, as his mouth got increasingly wider as his sentence progressed.
  • “Oh my lord,” Weaver said to God when she found out they had to go to Talladega, a race track, although not the one where her husband was killed. Then, when they discovered they had to actually go onto the track, she told her kids, “Your daddy liked racing. Just let it go. You’re above all this.”
  • One of the Godlewski sisters pronounced “colonel” not correctly (like “kernel”) nor as it was spelled (like “co-loan-el”), but instead like “colonial.”
  • Then mom Weaver pronounced it the exact same way: “colonial.”
  • Carissa, the race’s comedian, whose legs just dangled on the bike-thing, said, “I wish I had longer legs.”
  • One of the Bransen sisters mooned the Linz family. Then one of the Linz brothers showed them his nipples.
  • The Schroeder family had a fun exchange while they second-guessed each other as to what “Southern Colonel” represented. “Do we want to look in a phone book?” “That’s a good idea.” “No, because it wouldn’t be that easy.” “Dad, please?” “Stop, relax.”
  • The Weavers picked a mobile home, and thus the latest departure time, without looking at their options.”Was that good?” one of her daughters asked. “I don’t know,” her mom said. A few minutes later, the Gaghans did the exact same thing.
  • So did the Schroeders, despite Stassi’s best efforts. “One minute makes the biggest difference, though,” she cried, and we all knew she was so right. “One second makes the biggest difference, she said later,” and suddenly she became an editor’s foreshadowing tool.
  • Okay, this has nothing to do with something the teams actually said, but whatever. In Mississippi, pre-hurricane, the teams stopped at a (product placement alert) BP gas station, where regular gas was selling for $2.12 a gallon. Premium was $2.32. Oh, the good old days of two months ago.
  • As Phil told us about the Detour, his voice seemed a bit off, perhaps because his white jeans were a little too tight.
  • The disclaimer at the beginning of the episode, about the show being filmed before Katrina destroyed parts of Louisiana and Mississippi, made even more sense when the teams had to drive across Lake Pontchartrain and check into a pit stop in the French Quarter of New Orleans.
  • Christine Godlewski started crying–about her backpack. “I want to get my backpack!” Then she started screaming at her sisters: “Thanks for making me cry, you guys!” One of her sisters wasn’t exactly buying it, “Oh, you did it to yourself.”
  • The Schroeders arrived in last place, just as the editing suggested, and were eliminated in their hometown. “I love my dad, but I just wish he would have listened to me; I could have made a difference,” Stassi said.
  • From the preview for next week, Phil tells us what we finally wanted to hear: “Teams leave the United States.”
  • Update: Okay, okay, I apparently missed one, probably during one of those moments when I was shoving my face full of pretzels instead of watching. While driving into New Orleans, Mom Weaver said something about Lake Pontchartrain being one of the Great Lakes. Entertainment Weekly notes that this has become a pattern: “First she thought Philadelphia is a state, and now this? Can’t God get that woman a globe?”

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    about the writer

    Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.