Kill Reality ends as Jonny Fairplay is kicked out for pooping on Trish’s bed

E!’s hit train wreck Kill Reality concluded last night, and the in-house drama didn’t end until the show ended.

Jonny Fairplay continued to play to his persona, acting like a jackass and doing things like taking a pizza Jenna had just ordered and flipping the box so that pizza flew everywhere. This prompted Jenna to tell him, “You’re a fucking piece of shit. You live up to every low expectation that we have of you.”

After Fairplay threatened to put his penis on Steven Hill’s face, Steven literally spanked Jonny Fairplay. Like, not sexual fun spanking, but “I think spanking him is the most appropriate thing I could have done” child spanking. Still, Fairplay’s behavior escalated, and Steven said, “I think he needs to go away…he needs a lot of help.”

Trish decided to get back at him for all of the pranks he’d pulled, and she taped all of his belongings to the ceiling–rather harmless considering his relentless destruction of property that he refers to as “pranks.” When he discovered the clothes, Trishelle fingered Trish: “I guaran-fucking-tee you she did it.”

“How about I just go shit her bed?” Johnny said. So he did. For real.

“I think it’s safe to say that he crossed a number of lines,” Rob C. said. “To him, it’s just a joke, but for the rest of us sane people, that is a major public health violation.” And with that, Jonny Fairplay was removed from the house.

“It’s probably one of the worst moments of my entire life,” he said. “You’re giving me a big fuck you,” he said to the producers. Fairplay even started quibbling over the contract, causing a producer to tell him, “No, we did not think to put in the contract, ‘Do not shit on another cast member.”

Trish said, “He honestly doesn’t think that he did anything wrong. That is probably the most troubling out of all of it.” Steven Hill told her, “Trish, you do realize you’re that no longer the bitch from The Bachelor. You’re the girl who was shit on.”

“I would like my old title back, please,” she said.

“No, you’re the shit queen.”

Anyway, while all of the drunken, destructive, insane behavior was going on at the house, the cast also made a movie, The Scorned. It debuts on E! Saturday, Sept. 24.

Rob C. gave the understatement of the year when he said, “I definitely get the sense that people aren’t expecting a lot from this film, and I think we have a real chance to surprise people.”

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.