April says viewers “are all pieces of shit” because America made Ivette cry

I take back what I said about the second America’s Choice question being lame and not impacting the game. I was very, very wrong, and I’m thrilled to admit it. In fact, by voting for Janelle, we made Ivette cry, and then caused the Friendship to lash out at the show’s viewers. First, though, April nominated Janelle and Howie for eviction, promising to back-door James. Although they were rightly skeptical, April stuck to her word, and either James or Howie will be evicted Thursday.

But on to the good stuff. After Janelle won America’s Choice and received a call from Michael, Ivette broke down and sobbed. “Ivette’s feelings are really, really hurt right now. She feels like, how could America pick Janelle to get a phone call…?” Maggie asked.

Well, Maggie, basically we’re not fond of Ivette. Or you.

April was also upset. “It hurts my feelings to know that America loves Janelle. Any one who would sit here and think that Janelle deserves a phone call from Michael over any one else in this house, I just have to question their character,” she said.

For an example of strong character, flash back a few weeks to April talking about Janelle: “At least I don’t have to suck cock to get by in life!”

Even better, the Friendship started calling the producers and CBS liars and cheaters. They couldn’t believe we would vote for Michael to call Janelle, since they only knew each other for two weeks. Maggie said, “There’s no way America picked Janelle.”

April agreed. “We don’t believe it. … There’s no way that could have happened. There’s just no way,” she said. “The houseguests are missing their loved ones, and you’re going to frickin’ get Michael to call Janelle? I mean, that’s just crazy, that’s stupid.”

And then April did the one thing that has perhaps never happened before on a reality TV show, at least not in recent memory: She attacked us, the viewers. And used a swear word.

April said, “If America did honestly pick her, then the fans that watch this show are all pieces of shit. Bottom line.”

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.


Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.