Carrie Underwood wins American Idol 4; half a billion votes were cast this season.

Carrie Underwood is the winner of American Idol 4. More than 500 million votes were cast throughout the season, although of course we didn’t hear nor how close last night’s vote was. In addition to touring with the other finalists starting on July 12, Carrie will release “Inside Your Heaven” on June 14. And Bo Bice is probably on his way to becoming the next Clay Aiken, a runner-up who’s as popular, if not more popular, than the winner.

During the two-hours of bullshit leading up to the announcement, the show did something unexpected, presenting a very funny bit that eviscerated Primetime Live’s Corey Clark infomercial. Paula, Simon, Randy, Ryan, and the producers acted in a mock news show called “Crime Time Expose,” a fake news program which had a brilliant tagline: “We never let the truth get in the way of our ratings.” During the bit, they made fun of everything from the answering machine messages to ABC and Corey’s relentless whoring of his products; Randy was shown repeatedly recording an album called “Dog-tics,” wore a “buy my CD” t-shirt, and said “I’m not a sellout” while showing a copy of his book. Ultimately, the segment’s reporter revealed that “Simon Cowell has been having an affair with himself.”

During the finale, Seacrest also announced the location of auditions for American Idol 5: Austin, Denver, Memphis, Boston, Atlanta, San Diego, and Chicago.

Carrie Did It! [Idol on Fox]
Carrie crowned latest ‘American Idol’ [AP]

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.