chaos erupts during Top Model 5 judging.

chaos erupts during Top Model 5 judging.
Production of America’s Next Top Model cycle 5 has been stopped after a chaotic judging ceremony. The problems began when a judge suggested a model didn’t look “fierce,” and the model said, “What the hell does that mean, really?” Outraged, Janice Dickinson began to shout, “As the world’s first walking human skeleton, I know fierce,” but before she could finish, her nose fell onto the judging table, and when she reached for it, her entire arm crumbled into dust. Panicked, Jay Manuel shrieked and burst into flames. And since Tyra wasn’t programmed to handle this sort of situation, she short-circuited and just kept repeating the most awkwardly phrased lines in the history of reality television: “These photos represent the x of you that will still be in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model. The first name that I’m going to call is. Will y and z please step forward. The first name that I’m going to call is. Will y and z please step forward.” UPN said production will likely continue next week, just as soon as Tyra can be reprogrammed to be as unobtrusive and insignificant as Manhunt host Carmen Electra.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.