Newlyweds will return in January despite Jessica’s statement that it was “over.”

Newlyweds will return in January despite Jessica’s statement that it was “over.”
Oh, Jessica Simpson, you liar. You promised that Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica was over, and now MTV says it’s greenlit a third season that will air in January. Didn’t you learn anything from The Osbournes, such as the value of ending while you’re ahead? Or is your daddy making you do it? Now that Britney is just a trip to Wal-Mart away from moving into a trailer somewhere and squeezing out babies for the next 10 years, are you trying to become the reigning princess of pop and MTV? Clearly, someone is trying to establish a dynasty on the network, as your husband will get his own series in addition to his part on Newlyweds, and your sister’s train wreck, The Ashlee Simpson Show, will return in January, too. Ashlee’s show will even feature her lip-syncing/backup vocals debacle from SNL, which she must be thrilled about. Well, we’ll be watching, and we’ll forgive you for lying to our faces, but just stop making promises you can’t keep, okay?
+ plus: Gawker reprints an e.mail message from a PA who worked an event with Nick and Jessica. The PA reports that when asked to lengthen his introduction of Jessica, Nick said, “Let’s see what could I say…….Do you really want me to tell you…… Not too many nice things to say about her. … How about she was the best stocking I ever stuffed? … She was the best Chimney I’ve ever come down on.”

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Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 37, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.