whore report: Alton and Irulan offer dating site, Frankie selling her car, her trash.
Now that there are well over 100 former Real World cast members, they have to fight hard to exploit their “fame,” since just being a former MTV reality show cast member just isn’t as cool now that there are so many of them. To illustrate how life is today for some of them, USA TODAY checks in on nine former cast members, many of whom appear to be slightly more successful than expected. Luckily, there are plenty still desperate for attention, so we still have things to make fun of. One example: this dating site, which is known as Alton and Irulan’s MakeLoveHappen.com. The Real World Las Vegas lovebirds are offering free registration–for a limited time!–to their online personals site, which they decided to launch because, in their words:
We’ve been asked by so many people: How do we do it? How do we stay together? When did we know that we found love? We decided to help other people find love like we did by giving them the chance to find their true love and soulmate through makelovehappen.com. This website can almost guarantee that you will find someone to love and be loved right back if you take the steps that we did and feel the way about your loved one like the way we feel for each other. You’ll for sure come out a winner in love.
If you can bare to read more without continuing to vomit all of your monitor (it should come off nicely with paper towels and glass cleaner; that worked for me), their about page offers both of their falling-in-love stories. If you want love, you’d best move fast, as a search for people 18 to 100 shows slim pickings: the site currently has 30 women seeking men, six men seeking men, and six women seeking women. Some show up on multiple searches, like this person, who looks suspiciously like Faith Hill, not that anyone would use a fake photo on a dating site that “can almost guarantee that you will find someone to love.”
Meanwhile, another cast member is attempting to exploit her fame by selling property. Frankie from The Real World San Diego is auctioning off her 1986 VW on eBay. Nothing too shocking about that, except that a) it doesn’t work, and b) she’s so convinced that her fame is sufficient reason to buy a nonworking, ugly-ass automobile that the listing notes that “some of Frankies personal ‘stuff’ is still in the back floorboard(soda cans, candy wrappers, etc.)!” Yes, just what every person in America needs: the discarded waste of a discarded reality TV cast member.