Jesse picks Jessica B., doesn’t propose.

Jesse picks Jessica B., doesn’t propose.
Alleged spoilers be damned, Jesse Palmer picked Jessica B. during The Bachelor 5‘s finale. First, he showered her with praise (“You make me a better person. You have given me everything that I asked for. And never once did you expect anything back.”) and then really faked her out, dropping a big “but” into his speech and then pausing oh-so-dramatically. Then he said, “I don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning if I can’t wake up with you.” Instead of proposing, however, he offered her a one-way first-class ticket to New York City. Jessica was okay with that: “I don’t need a proposal, I just wanted to walk out of this with you.” Tara, meanwhile, was on the side of a road vomiting into the bushes with nervousness. By the time Jesse told Jessica, “Chase all your dreams, but do it with me,” viewers were heaving right alongside Tara. Tara finally managed to get back in the car, and then out of it again (although she spent a lot of time hyperventilating). Jesse sent Jessica into the house, and once Tara arrived, pausing time and time again and making Jesse stand there with her. She went into full drama mode, telling Jesse, “I really don’t want you to say anything. … Today I had such bad feelings, and I don’t know if it’s because you’re not feeling the same way I am, which is really hard for me,” or because one of her “best friends in the world” would get hurt. “Either way, I feel like this is not a good situation.” Jesse finally was able to start talking, and told her that she wasn’t the one. Tara fought back, vomiting all over Jesse. No, not really; actually, she got pissed: “I’m going to try my hardest to be happy for you…I really wish you wouldn’t have led me on the way you did.” She added something about their time together, saying, “I do feel that there were a lot of things that were completely inappropriate” since he didn’t end up with her. Whatever; get in the limo, loser. The “After the Final Rose” special airs next Wednesday at 9 p.m. ET.

Surprisingly, man not eaten alive on Eaten Alive

Eaten Alive

Discovery Channel’s happy family holiday special Eaten Alive aired Sunday, rewarding viewers for their two full hours of viewing by ensuring that they spent quality time in the company of others instead of wasting that time doing something else that might not have been as satisfying, such as buying things that have labels which accurately reflect their contents.

Winter 2015 reality TV debut schedule

winter 2015 reality TV schedule

Mark your calendars with all these upcoming reality TV show debuts, including Celebrity Apprentice, The Bachelor, and another season of MasterChef Junior, all of which kick off in early January.

There are also 20+ shows debuting in December--including the one-off return of The Sing Off. No winter break for reality TV.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.