Jessica blames “amazing editing,” and may be the Chicken of the Sea mermaid.

Jessica blames “amazing editing,” and may be the Chicken of the Sea mermaid.
Okay, okay Jessica, we get it: You’re not a dummy. The person we see on Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica every week does not have tuna for brains. “There is amazing editing that happens in the MTV control rooms,” Jessica says, apparently referring to the editors’ ability to splice together complete idiotic sentences even within a continuous shot. But just in case we don’t buy that lame-ass excuse, she adds, “But it’s nothing that I get offended about. I just look at it as my character and my role.” Blaming her brain on her “role” is not the truly horrifying part of her interview with The Chicago Tribune’s Terry Armour. He reports that “she might be the next mermaid on the side of the [Chicken of the Sea] can.” Start stockpiling Jessica-free Tuna now.

about the writer

Andy Dehnart is a journalist who has covered reality television for more than 15 years and created reality blurred in 2000. A member of the Television Critics Association, his writing and criticism about television, culture, and media has appeared on NPR and in Playboy, Buzzfeed, and many other publications. Andy, 36, also directs the journalism program at Stetson University in Florida, where he teaches creative nonfiction and journalism. He has an M.F.A. in nonfiction writing and literature from Bennington College. More about reality blurred and Andy.