Survivor Micronesia

Erik gives up immunity and becomes “the dumbest Survivor ever”

At just 22 years old, Erik Reichenbach has secured himself a place in reality TV history as “the dumbest Survivor ever,” as two contestants branded him last night, and also helped make Survivor Micronesia the best season ever—or at least, the best second half of a season ever.

Erik, who will undoubtedly need years of therapy to learn to trust people again, was played and betrayed by the four women, who actually convinced him to give up the individual immunity he won. “I think that is what you call a life lesson,” Jeff Probst said as Erik left Tribal Council. Erik seemed to take it well, saying, “damn, damn, they got me. … Those damn girls.” He said he was not prepared for “surviving four crazy, sexy women.”

The plan was masterminded by Cirie, and it was executed flawlessly by all four women, although in two separate parts. First, the three favorites realized they needed to keep Erik off Exile Island, so Amanda bonded with him, and convinced his naive ass to take her with him on the reward challenge if he won. She also convinced him that Natalie was a threat, so he sent Parvati to Exile Island instead (and she spent her time there tanning and relaxing, working hard to earn the $1 million). Those decisions irritated increasingly scary Natalie, which made her ripe to be used by the other women.

Later, after Erik won immunity, Cirie wondered if Erik could be convinced to give up his immunity necklace to Natalie to earn “redemption,” as he later said. Natalie told the other women, “Who would fall for that? I feel stupid listening to you guys. This is just ridiculous.” It was, but she tried anyway, and it worked. The jury members could barely contain themselves at Tribal Council when Erik handed over his immunity to Natalie, ensuring that he’d join Ozzy and Jason (and, from last season, James) as immunity-holding evictees.

For the first time in my memory, we were shown all five votes as they were cast, meaning that Erik’s elimination wasn’t a surprise. The whole thing was unbelievable television and incredibly exciting, but the only truly shocking moment was when Erik handed over the immunity necklace. We were in on the rest, so it wasn’t as much of a surprise as, say, Amanda playing the hidden immunity idol last week after pretending like she didn’t find it.

While it was good, it didn’t quite live up to yours or my predictions of the “most shocking Tribal Council ever,” as CBS was promoting, and as we discussed on Facebook. (Thanks, by the way, for joining reality blurred on Facebook; you all are some attractive people. And if you want to have more Facebook fun, you can help to inflate my ego by becoming a fan of Andy Dehnart the writer, and keep up with stuff I write beyond these pages.)

Anyway, Brian from Michigan would get the prize if there was a prize, which tragically there is not, for guessing that “Someone gives up immunity and is subsequently voted out.” Bravo. But his fictional idea, playing off Top Model, would have been great, too: “Parvati gets voted out and acts like it’s no big deal. Jeff Probst, channeling Tyra Banks, goes into a rampage and begins screaming at her: ‘Did you know you had a possibility to win? Did you know all of America was rooting for you and you come in here and treat this like a joke?’ As Parvati protests, Jeff shouts, ‘Be quiet, Parvati! Be quiet! STOP IT! I have never in my life yelled at a girl like this!’

The other suggestions basically came down to sex and violence. James from Indiana suggested the Survivors would “get wind of the Big Brother orgy and realize that if they want to keep up with their reality TV brethren, and extend their 15 minutes of fame to its actual 15 minutes, they better do the same.” And Jeff R. said Erik and Cirie would “announce that they have conceived the first ever ‘Survivor Child,’” which would have then been voted out. As to violence, Matthew from Australia was “hoping for some form of cannibalism.. especially if they eat eliza.. she is really annoying,” while Teri from Chicago suggested Amanda and Natalie would fight, “a shoving match ensues and someone falls into the fire.”

There were also some crossovers. Jeremy suggested that Survivor would be essentially revealed to be part of the Lost storyline, while Matthew G. said the show would channel American Idol, and Probst would tease the elimination but ultimately reveal everyone was safe. That would be shocking, since the last thing anyone would expect is for Survivor to become as cheap and tawdy as Idol. After last night, nothing we’ve seen on reality TV this season can match the kind of human drama that Survivor offers.

The Hills

Heidi and Spencer are “entertainers,” she says, and “improv TV personalities,” he says

What’s the secret to Hills villains Heidi and Spencer’s success? Apparently, it’s that they know how to play along and play the game.

“Obviously we’re entertainers. We are trying to entertain in every aspect of our lives. Whether it’s on the show or in the tabloids,” Heidi told the Los Angeles Times, which examines the couple’s enduring—popularity? infamy?—and finds that “while they may not be the most famous, they are definitely the most fame-ish. Creatures of the game in every way, they have mastered the new realities of celebrity culture.”

To prove that point, Spencer said, “Anybody who wants to promote our brand, negative or positive, give me a call.” He says everything he does is calculated. For example, prior to season two, “I saw a clip of the show, and everyone was so nice,” he said, so he decided to “cause drama.” The one thing that he insists is real is his relationship with Heidi. “I was — and am — so in love with Heidi, and that stuff stops mattering. Our real world is right here,” he said.

For a guy whose biggest talent seems to be giving advice that includes suggesting men gauge interest in anal sex without asking (“stick your pinkie in there, and then another finger, and then another, and she responds happily, then it’s cool”), Spencer actually seems kind of astute. Even that anal sex column was probably designed to get more attention—and it worked!

As another likely attempt at attention, he says their jobs are more difficult than those of actual actors. “No celebrity does anything, really. Unless you’re a famous athlete who actually physically does something, like, how much work is reading lines from a script? We’re improv TV personalities. That’s way harder,” he said.

His goading of the press indicates that he gets the celebrity media machine that feeds off of him: “Every hour, every different magazine, every blog texts, like, ‘We heard this, we heard this.’ Most of the time, people are just making things up, trying to get you to give a source quote. Or give one line just so they can build something. On every site, in every magazine, they need content. It’s the most competitive industry in the world, I would say, the pop culture media game,” he said.

As the ultimate proof of how Spencer and Heidi think the whole thing is a game, TMZ demon Harvey Levin said that while his crap site has “done story after story poking fun at them, and in some cases just trashing them for their ridiculously staged conduct,” Heidi and Spencer saw him recently, “and they hugged me!”

The Mole 3

ABC slowly releases details about new Mole

ABC’s strategy to generate interest in the highly anticipated return of The Mole seems to be to drip out a little bits of information at a time. Since March, the network has been flashing the show’s logo at the end of promos for other shows, although now they’re finally airing a real promo.

In a press release last week, ABC revealed four cast members’ names and “mini-bios,” which are also on ABC’s web site, along with video introductions to each contestant. Four more contestants were revealed today.

Because of the show’s tendency to plant clues (although very, very dumb ones during the first two seasons), fans are watching for hints that may reveal the mole’s identity. One contestant’s video ends with a flash of “the Mole was here,” which seems to be so obvious that it can’t possibly mean anything. Others have suggested that the backgrounds in the contestants’ photos may be significant. Even so, it’s highly unlikely that producers would be dumb enough to reveal the show’s biggest secret this early in the game with something so obvious.

By the way, consistent with ABC’s stupid, stubborn refusal to number or name its reality show seasons—meaning they all share, among other things, identical URLs at the network’s unbelievably crappy web site, so past seasons of, say, The Bachelor just disappear—the show’s return is just being called The Mole. Until they give it a proper title, I’m calling it The Mole 3, because I stubbornly refuse to count the two celebrity seasons.

future shows

ABC rejects Golden Cage because of cost

ABC has decided not to produce The Golden Cage, a reality series in which contestants live in luxury and compete to win the house, which in the European version was stocked with prostitutes.

The reason for ABC’s rejection was not the prostitutes. Instead, the show’s production company Talpa says “ABC was put off by the costs involved in producing the program,” according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Last February, ABC announced that it had acquired the show. Big Brother’s creator John de Mol was producing the new series, which first aired in Europe.

Project Runway 6

Nina Garcia moves to Marie Claire magazine, which may replace Elle on Project Runway 6

One of Project Runway’s marquee sponsors may also be out once the show moves to Lifetime in November, but that may be good news for judge Nina Garcia, whose future on the show was slightly uncertain after she was fired from Elle.

Elle “is contracted to the reality show through its fifth season, the last on the Bravo network,” and “Marie Claire is expressing an interest in participating. Such a partnership is ripe for synergy: Marie Claire is published by Hearst Magazines, whose parent company jointly owns Lifetime with The Walt Disney Co.,” WWD reported earlier this week.

Now, Nina Garcia “is about to land a major gig at Marie Claire,” Fashion Week Daily reports. It notes that, “given the new partnership between the magazine and Project Runway, [this] would ensure her continued presence on the show.”

Road Rules

Road Rules’ Dave Giuntoli shows up on Grey’s Anatomy, other scripted shows

There’s so much cross-pollination between reality shows that it’s barely newsworthy anymore, but when a reality star crosses over into scripted territory, that’s a bit more interesting, generally because reality stars totally suck at acting. The Real World London’s Jacinda Barrett is among those who’ve made the transition.

Thursday night, Road Rules South Pacific (and short-lived Gauntlet star) Dave Giuntoli, aka David Giuntoli, showed up on Grey’s Anatomy, playing the soldier boyfriend of a gay soldier who had a brain tumor. Of course, his real role was to be a metaphor for Meredith Grey’s me-me-me-me-me life, but every patient and medical disaster is little more than a metaphor for the main characters’ social lives, so that’s nothing new.

The role involved an extended man-on-man make-out scene and, later, raw anger and tears-on-demand, all of which he pulled off so well that I was almost able to ignore the nagging suspicion that I’d seen him before.

But he’s appeared on more than just Grey’s, although his MySpace page mentions none of his roles. Since last year, Dave has shown up on Ghost Whisperer, Veronica Mars, and Nip/Tuck, according to IMDB. Most recently, he’s had a recurring role on Eli Stone. Even more significantly, he seems to have actual talent. Not bad for a graduate of MTV’s cesspool.

American Idol 7

Jason Castro: “I would have liked to go farther, but I don’t think I could have handled it”

Jason Castro, who told a reporter two weeks ago that he was done with the competition, now says he did not want to leave American Idol 7, but he’s glad he was voted out, and attributes that comment to frustration.

“I guess people were thinking I didn’t want to be there, but that was never my mindset,” he told reporters today, according to the AP. But he also says the competition “has just really been hard … I was starting to fear the week ahead. Like, how can I do three songs? I can’t even do two … I was freaking out about it.” And after being voted off, “I really felt relief, like the pressure was off. I loved my time on there, and I would have liked to go farther, but I don’t think I could have handled it.”

He says his recent screw-ups are attributable to ” inexperience. … I am as raw as it gets. I have not done much of anything singing-wise … I really had a hard time when it got up to two songs a week. I wasn’t connecting to either one. I couldn’t fall in love with them, and you need time for that.”

In a conversation with Entertainment Weekly’s Jessica Shaw, Jason confirms that he did, in fact, tell her that he was “ready to go home” a few weeks ago. “The fact of the matter that day was I was in a bad mood. I was frustrated with a lot of things. Then I got on the phone with you. I was just not in a good mood. I couldn’t find a quiet place to talk to you and I kept walking around. I couldn’t focus while we were talking. I don’t even remember much of what I said. There are some days that are just like that. You just don’t want to do what you are doing,” he said.

He also insists he didn’t try to throw the competition. On Tuesday, he insists he didn’t say “Don’t vote,” but instead said, “‘Vote. Vote.’ I said it twice trying to emphasize it. Then, when I was sitting down, I thought about it, and I thought it was going to look like I said, ‘Don’t vote.’ So the next time the camera came to me I just said, ‘Vote.’” Obviously, not enough people heard or saw him that time.

Tim Gunn's Guide to Style

Gretta Monahan will be Tim Gunn’s new Guide to Style co-host

With Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style co-host Veronica Webb out for the second season of the makeover show, it seemed like Bravo might be abandoning its misguided thinking that Tim can’t handle a show on his own. But today the network announced that it has hired a new co-host for Tim: “fashion expert, personal stylist and [spa] owner” Gretta Monahan.

She “will accompany style-challenged women on shopping challenges, while guiding their choices, supporting them and listening to and offering solutions for their concerns,” and will “contribute her opinions, share her fashion knowledge, and support Gunn while he focuses on the big picture of each subject’s transformation,” according to Bravo.

In the press release, Tim said, “I’ve been a fan of Gretta’s for awhile now - she’s on the edge of fashion with a fresh approach that resonates well with all types of women. I’m thrilled to have her as my fashion accomplice.”

All of that seems to set her up a little bit more like a sidekick than a co-host, a slightly different approach from last May, when Bravo said Veronica Webb would be Tim’s “style counterpart” who’d “add a little sass to his class.” Clearly, Tim doesn’t need sass, he just needs a network to believe in him.